 In The Showers: 2003 Fashion Fiesta!
December 30th, 2003
It's the end of 2003 and thus time for fashion reporters around the world to get their bitch on by listing their least favourite fashion trends. We fashion folk are not all just "haters" at heart. We truly love the men of the NBA and admire them for their daring fashion sense and trend-setting ability.
It may gall some of the more frou-frou fashionistas that these young men dare to wear tank tops and shorts just as everyone else has to start bundling up for the late autumn and winter. This reporter doesn't mind an elegant scarf as the north wind starts to blow, but why would one want to cover up these rippling hunks of sportitude?
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Special Package Delivery
For the twelfth straight year baggy shorts are all the rage amongst the b-ball brethren. With John Stockton's retirement now a full 100% of NBA ballers are sporting the "obscure the package" look. Disappointing, I know.
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Road Workers Ahead!
The Phoenix Suns have added an all-orange road jersey to their already full closets. When they put these uniforms on Jahidi White looks like the world's largest pylon - with the skills to match!
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Leave the Cornrows to Sprewell
Timberwolves guard Latrell Sprewell has always taken a lot of flack for his cornrow mullet but it's hard to find a hairstyle that shows that you're from the streets but still allows the wind to flow through your hair when out yachting. Unfortunately, what works for Sprewell doesn't work for everybody. C'mon Carmelo, you're going to put somebody's eye out with those things!
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Now That's Using Your Heads
At least Carmelo Anthony has the good sense to restrain his hair with a headband. This fashion maven appreciates function as much as form. For example, "big ups" to Rasheed Wallace and Ron Artest for wearing headbands to hold their brains in place.
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Space-age Ballers
The Dallas Mavericks new shiny silver third jersey suggests that they are a team from the future. If giant muscle-bound disco-balls are what the future brings then count me in. And for those of you who might be wondering, in the future Shawn Bradley still sucks. Oh, does he ever!
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Who said they had no class in Cleveland?
Kudos go out to the Cleveland Cavaliers for making a return to the colours of wine and gold. That combination hasn't been cool since, well, ever. Now they are back to the true spirit of the noble cavalier with their frilly garb, puffy pants, and lacy gloves. "Swish" has a whole new meaning in Cleveland!
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