Chicago GM John Paxton and some Army guy at today's historic press conference

The two-week, nationwide manhunt for Rick Brunson is over. Brunson was found huddled on a park bench near his ancestral home of Syracuse, New York today by Chicago Bulls officials. With him were several pigeons and a squirrel who are still being interrogated about their role in helping Brunson evade his captors for 14 days. On his person were two towels, a cup of warm Gatorade, and thousands of dollars of cash "earned" from his NBA veterans minimum contract. Initial reports indicate that the towels were not snapped during his capture and that he surrendered peacefully.

Brunson disappeared on December 1st not long after his latest former team the Toronto Raptors completed a 6-player trade with the Chicago Bulls that rendered him obsolete on the Raptor bench. Since that day General Managers of NBA teams from all across the United States have been scoured the country looking for him in the hopes of adding them to their roster. Surprisingly it was a tip from Brunson's wife that led to his capture.

Rick Brunson grew a beard to disguise himself from the Syracuse Blockbuster staff after having rented "Gigli" 6 times in 14 days	This mock playing card assisted the US Armed Forces in tracking Rick Brunson down

By the time of his capture Brunson had undergone a complete transformation from the sharp-dressing bench-warmer famous throughout the world. Video from a medical examination done by Bulls doctors shows Brunson with an untrimmed beard and bedhead. Although the physical revealed some lingering effects from Brunson's brutal bout of LQC, he was given a clean bill of health.

Chicago Bulls GM John Paxson held a press conference to announce Brunson's capture earlier today. In it he simply declared, "We got him." This brought on a bout of wild cheering from the Canadian sports reporters covering the event who got up and danced in the aisles. Chicago media sat befuddled, perhaps in denial that their wildest dreams had come true. As part of the NBA's Labour Agreement, the Bulls were forced to exchange prisoner Roger Mason Jr to the Raptors in order to completely take Rick Brunson into custody.

Rick Brunson was found sitting on a bench at this Syracuse, NY, farmhouse

This statement from Toronto Raptors GM Glen Grunwald was released to the press as well:

"The people of Toronto no longer have to live in fear. Rick Brunson has been captured by the Chicago Bulls. This event brings further assurance that the towel-waving and butt-slapping are gone forever. Now he will face the justice he denied to millions. A warning for those of you in Toronto though: Brunson's capture does not necessarily mean the end of mediocre basketball in Toronto."