So Long Stanley

The Raptors cut Stanley Roberts last week. Contrary to popular reports, Stanley was not hired by the Raptors in hopes of losing weight and playing with the team. The Raptors really wanted to get Stanley to teach slim rookie forward Chris Bosh how to eat. The plan backfired when Roberts ate all of Bosh's food too leaving him skinnier than ever.

Kobe Didn't Do It

The lawyers representing Kobe Bryant leaked out their defense strategy to this humble gossip columnist. It turns out that Houston Rocket forward Eddie Griffin has no alibi for the night that Bryant allegedly raped a resort worker in Colorado. Bryant's defense team is also looking into what all of the Portland Trailblazers were doing on that same evening.

Shaq's Kobe Beef

While we're on the subject of the Lakers, the Shaq/Kobe feud went public last week with a series of quotes in the media. Behind the scenes, where Lance Fabolous always is, it appears as if it is Kobe's locker room behaviour that has gotten Shaq so upset. Apparently, Kobe has been purposely dropping the soap in the Laker shower area and asking his teammates to pick it up for him. Shaq then went to reporters with and declared that the Lakers were his team and not Kobe's and that "this is the Diesel's ship" and that "I want to be right for Derek, Karl and Gary" and also "I'm here to do a job. If he's open, I'm going to give it to him."

Family Feud

Never before has an NBA player competed against his father but next week Golden State's Mike Dunleavy Jr will take on the LA Clippers coached by Mike Dunleavy Sr. Although the senior Mike says he will treat his son just like every other opponent rumour has it that he will be hiring Mike Jr's mother to sit on the Clippers bench and stare sternly at her son whenever he scores a basket.

Raptor Trivia!

This one is for all the fans of the Chuck Checks In column on Raptors.com. You'd never know it from Chuck's fluid prose and calculating insight but he's actually a long-time radio announcer.

Raptors Roster Not Quite Set

Although many would have you believe that the Toronto Raptors will be riding out the season with the players they've got rumour has it that GM Glen Grunwald is out looking for any talent-less, awkward people who are over 7-feet tall. Grunwald is particularly interested in 7-foot, 7-inch Sandy Allen.