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KO and Mo Pete
Coach O'Neill's strategy is to stare Mo Pete into becoming relevant again
Raptors Fans Awoken By Leafs Game
Tentatively Diagnosed With Chris Jefferies Disease
October 28th, 2003

Fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team got a surprise Monday night as they filed into the Air Canada Centre. They were there to catch some NHL action as the Leafs hosted the Atlanta Thrashers. Many Leafs fans upon finding their seats discovered they were already in use - by slumbering Raptor fans!

"Last thing I remember was the Raptors were running through some half-court offensive sets and the next thing I knew some guy in a Wendel Clark jersey is sticking me in the ribs with his giant foam finger," said a bleary-eyed Melissa Jones. "I guess I missed the dunk competition."

By all accounts these Raptors fans had attended Sunday's open Raptor practice. Most were surprised to learn that they had been asleep for over 24 hours. When informed that there was no dunk competition Jones exclaimed, "So I waited in line for a frickin' hour to watch Chris Jefferies short-arm jump shots and Jerome Moiso forget the plays? Crap!"

Others stumbling their way out of the ACC after a solid day of sleeping took things with more humour. "Heck, I must have been sleeping. Only in my dreams does Rick Brunson swish 8 shots in a row," chuckled John Simpson.

The Raptors have been hosting a free admission open practice for the fans since the lockout shortened 1999 season. The purpose of the open
practice is to get the fans excited about the upcoming regular season while giving families a chance to see the Raptors in action without having to mortgage the farm. Coach O'Neill gave everyone a taste of 2003/2004 Raptor action and was clearly stoked himself, "What could be more exciting than watching the second team run an inbounds play that ends with Mo-Pete air-balling it from the corner against no defense at all? My heart got racing when Mengke Bateer made that invisible pick! It's a good thing we didn't run through any defensive sets with the fans in here. We might have blown the roof off this joint. Save those dunk contests for the All-Star freak show. Give me some quality offensive
weaving any day!"

Greedy Grunwald
Raptors GM Glen Grunwald was clearly pleased with the results of the open practice. "Not only did we get a few thousand people in to the ACC who might not normally get a chance to see the Raptors play but they also bought popcorn and soft drinks at our incredibly inflated prices!"

High-fives were also exchanged down at RaptorsTV, which broadcast the event. While the final numbers aren't in all indications are that they had done better than expected. Strangely, RaptorsTV ratings have remained unchanged in the day since the open practice ended. One source said, "Funny but it seems like the people out there couldn't stop watching RaptorsTV, almost like they were powerless to change the channel or something."

"3,000,000 more bags of that shit you're eating and we can pay Hakeem and Lenny off" thinks GG

Does this look official?  It ain't. (C) 2003 Rick Brunson Fan Club -