Rick Brunson .com - Ain't no thang!


		Raptors Announce Guaranteed "Rick Will Play" Night Grunwald Never Heard Of This All-Your-Eggs-In-One-Basket Thing October 10th, 2003 The Toronto Raptors announced their latest, and perhaps greatest, marketing scheme today. Raptors GM Glen Grunwald held a press conference to kick off the "Rick Will Play" night ticket promotion. Fans who purchase tickets for "Rick Will Play" night are guaranteed that Raptor guard Rick Brunson will actually get on the court and play. Should Rick not play during that game the fans will be given their money back (minus some service charges). Curiously, the Raptors have not announced exactly which night will be "Rick Will Play" night. It turns out that the mystery surrounding the actual date is part of the publicity for the promotion itself. Grunwald claimed that "...we still aren't sure which teams are crappy enough for our guys to really blow out. Coach O'Neill says there is no way Brunson sees court with the game on the line. I mean, we could have picked the Denver game or one of those Atlanta games but you never can tell. Our original idea was Golden State but we don't play them until the end of March. By the time that game comes around Vince will probably be injured. Hmmm... Utah, maybe Utah. They'll probably suck." Grunwald went on to explain that the "Rick Will Play" guarantee will only be announced after the 3rd period of that particular game. He even hinted that there may be more than one "Rick Will Play" night during the season. Thus any night could possibly be "Rick Will Play" night for potential ticket buyers. This should mean an increase of ticket sales on every night, not just one particular game. As well, Grunwald noted that the Maple Leaf Sports Store has loaded up on giant "Let Rick Play" signs that sell for $15.99. Grunwald declares the store will probably sell lots of these signs as "most of those boobs actually believe that we care about their opinions."
	Rick Brunson .com invites you all to imagine that special moment when Coach O'Neill looks up at the scoreboard and realizes that it's time to put Brunson in the game. As O'Neill looks down the bench and his eyes alight on R-Brun, the crowd will know that something special is about to happen. A buzz will ripple through the stadium. O'Neill dramatically hesitates and the crowd freezes. You would be able to hear a pin-drip if not for the hip-hop blaring over the PA system. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, O'Neill lifts his arm and signals Brunson to head to the scorer's table. The crowd erupts into applause. It's a deafening roar, an outpouring of emotion not seen since the last time the fans got free pizza. What was a boring blowout has become a great moment in the 2003/2004 NBA season. You can just imagine the talk around Toronto's water coolers the next morning when people will tell their co-workers, "I was there, man, I was there." Coach O'Neill, who was present at the press conference, had nothing to say. He just rocked nervously back and forth while staring off into space and muttering to himself.