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Rick Brunson Bigger Than Jesus
September 15th, 2003 |
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| On 8/13 the Rick Brunson buzz started in the Greater Toronto Area, and soon it became an international phenomenon. Today Rick Brunson .com is proud to proclaim that Rick Brunson is bigger than Jesus!
Rick Brunson stands 6 feet, 4 inches tall and weighs 190 pounds. According to anthropolgists, the average male in Jesus's day stood only 5 feet, 6 inches tall. Even if Jesus was of above average height it can be safe to assume that Brunson is still bigger. No reference in the Bible is made to Jesus's height and even the image on the Shroud of Turin is only 5 feet, 10 inches. An exceptionally tall man in Jesus's day stood 6 feet even. Providing Jesus was of average height, Brunson would tower 10 inches above him!
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Rick Brunson .com artists rendering clearly shows Rick Brunson dominating Jesus in both stature and style
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| Jesus's weight also remains a mystery but considering all the guy seemed to eat was fish and unleavened bread, it is doubtful he was a plus-size Messiah. Maybe Jesus's little water to wine trick added extra weight but for him to pack over 190 pounds onto a 5 foot 6 frame would surely have been noticed by gospel writers and religious icon makers alike. Thus it is almost a certainty that the 190 pounds of chiselled granite that is Rick Brunson would make Jesus look small. Actually, every NBA player is bigger than Jesus except for Earl Boykins.
Physical stature isn't the only way to measure a man however. Rick Brunson still compares quite favourably to Jesus even when looking into the less quantifiable attributes. Naturally we can assume that Brunson would kick Jesus's ass on the court but that's an unfair comparison since basketball wasn't invented until almost 1900 years after his death.
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Rick Brunson and three handlers hold a "Bigger than Jesus" press conference at New York's Idlewild Airport
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| Some may argue that Brunson could not return from death as Jesus has done but he's definitely resurrected his career on numerous occasions. In fact, the more one looks at it the more one begins to notice that Brunson and Jesus are very similar indeed.
Jesus was a carpenter. Brunson has an affinity for wood too (especially when found in bench form). Brunson is good at waving a towel. Jesus's entire wardrobe consists of towels. Jesus had 12 disciples. Brunson is the 12th man. Jesus lifts the spirits of all mankind. Brunson is a butt-slapper extraordinaire. Jesus was well-known for his compassion and love. Rick Brunson too has a lot of heart. Just ask him.
"Vince Carter -- no heart. Me, I'm all heart."
Rick Brunson, April 30th 2001
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Rick Brunson defends "bigger than Jesus" claim on network television by pointing to above graphic
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