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Ontario Election 2003:
Party Leaders Vie For Brunson Endorsement
September 3rd, 2003

Premier Ernie Eves has called an Ontario election for October 2nd. While initial polls show that Eves' Progressive Conservative Party is trailing the Liberals by 13 to 19 percentage points strategists for both parties warn that support for the Liberals is soft. The key factor to the election will be what political pundits are now calling "The Brunson Factor." It is believed that the fate of the election rests on whether Toronto Raptor Superstar Rick Brunson decides to throw his considerable support behind Eves or his Liberal counterpart Dalton McGuinty.

Since 8/13 Brunson's popularity with Ontario constituents has been a wildcard in the high stakes Ontario electoral poker game. It is believed that Eves called the election to capitalize on Brunson's stellar arrival in the province. This strategy might backfire however if Brunson gives the metaphorical butt-slap to McGuinty.

Rick Brunson .com has organized a quick poll and it shows that Brunson is far and away the most popular public figure involved in this election. It was already known that Brunson has strong support amongst bored white guys and, of course, the fine ladies of Ontario but it appears as if Brunson's appeal extends to almost every demographic.

Due to Ontario's strict election rules the people can't just write Rick Brunson's name on the ballot and make him Premier. Until we see the light and realize that California's electoral laws make much more sense Ontario's political parties must be content with garnering Brunson's endorsement. Yesterday's opening salvos by the politicians show that capturing the Brunson swing vote is foremost on their election agendas.

(based on 5 members of Rick Brunson .com editorial staff polled, +/- 99%)
Rick Brunson
100%
Ernie Eves
0%
Dalton McGuinty
0%
Howard Hampton (the NDP guy)
0%
Eves: "The choice is simple, my friends. Before Ernie Eves, no Rick Brunson. After Ernie Eves, we have Rick Brunson. A vote against me is a vote against Rick Brunson."
McGuinty: "It is because of Conservative tax cuts that Ontario's infrastructure is crumbling and we have Eves to blame for the blackout. As premier I intend to tap into renewable resources like Rick Brunson's megawatt smile in order to keep the lights on in Ontario."
Hampton: "There are some out there who will pander to the lowest common denominator. They will say Rick Brunson this and Rick Brunson that. I believe in staying above the fray. I want to keep the focus on the real issues in Ontario. If elected I promise more comfortable benches, whiter towels, and an increase in the minimum wage. That includes the NBA seven-year veteran minimum wage too, you know."

Does this look official?  It ain't. (C) 2003 Rick Brunson Fan Club -